Michele Bachmann is a Froot Loop Looney Toon

I’ve done a good job lately of ignoring Sarah Palin, in part because a new oblivious, insane Tea Party tool of Americans for Prosperity has come on the scene. Her name is Michele Bachmann, and she’s fascinating. Positively crazy.

The Positive

First, I need to give the devil her due. She and her husband have been foster parents to 23 children. I will assume they were kind parents, although maybe they taught those kids some weird things. Whatever; that’s a noble thing to do. Lots of kids need loving homes, so I recognize her good work there.

She once opposed a “School to Work” program because it treated kids like “trainees“. I’m also opposed to the business model of education. She and I probably oppose this sort of thing for very different reasons, but strange bedfellows and all that.

She opposed the 2007 surge in Iraq. (That surge may have resulted in fewer deaths in Iraq, but I was opposed to it too.) And she opposed the Wall Street bailout. Again: different reasons, I’m sure, but I’ll give it up whenever the venn diagram overlaps.

Teh Crazy

Okay, let’s get to the fun stuff. In case you haven’t been paying attention:

  • Despite her constant complaining about government programs, her family farm received over $250,000 in 10 years.
  • In 1991 she fought against giving money to a local hospital for a morgue, because they perform abortions.
  • She helped open a charter school in 1993 that taught creationism and banned the movie Aladdin because it supposedly teaches paganism.
  • She has worked for years to create a constitutional amendment making same-sex marriage illegal. Lots of other people endorse this too, but that doesn’t make it any less insane.
  • She voted against a bill in 2007 that increased Pell Grants and lowered student loan interest rates.
  • She introduced the Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act. I swear to Jebus I’m not making this up.
  • She has called for oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Again, she’s not alone, but it’s still crazy. Same with intelligent design and evolution as “unproven theory”.
  • She believe global warming is “voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax”.
  • She calls carbon dioxide “a harmless gas”. To be fair, in small enough amounts, the same can be said of Zyklon B.
  • She insisted that media outlets try to find members of Congress who are “anti-American”. (This helped convince Colin Powell to vote Democrat in 2008.)
  • She soon took back that statement, and then immediately accused Obama of endorsing socialism.
  • She refused to take part in the 2010 census.”I know for my family the only question we will be answering is how many people are in our home,” she said. “We won’t be answering any information beyond that, because the Constitution doesn’t require any information beyond that.”
  • She said of her opposition to cap-and-trade policies: “I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue”.
  • She opposes AmeriCorps because she believes it will lead to “re-education camps for young people, where young people have to go and get trained in a philosophy that the government puts forward and then they have to go to work in some of these politically correct forums”.
  • Her son, meanwhile, volunteered for Teach for America (an AmeriCorps program).
  • She made up crazy numbers about Obama’s 2010 trip to Asia.
  • She considers “ObamaCare” and the Dodd-Frank financial reform law extreme far-left bills, despite the fact that both of them are just tiny little baby steps in the right direction.
  • She said Republican Governor Tim Pawlenty’s tax-free zones were based on Marxist principles.
  • She wants to abolish Social Security and Medicare.
  • She’s a big fan of You Can Run But You Cannot Hide Ministry.

And then there’s the following seventeen-second YouTube video. Maybe she didn’t put it up herself, but I expect she authorized it. (“People won’t sit still for a three-minute discussion of the issue. Just put up seventeen seconds’ worth. It’s like the Twitter of YouTube.”)


Today I’m listening to: Groove Salad! Donate!

5 comments to Michele Bachmann is a Froot Loop Looney Toon

  • RobotArmMonkeyBrain

    Why is a morgue providing abortion services, anyway?
    Also, what’s a foot loop? Is that what you do when you dance a jig?
    Inquisitively yers,

  • esp

    I don’t know what you mean. No one said anything about a Foot Loop. You must have read it wrong.

  • […] must go to Sarah Palin. I’ve been pretty good about ignoring her lately (especially with Bachmann and Paul in the mix), but this is simply too insane. Watch all of this interview if you can, but […]

  • Brett Turley

    Just to be a prick (And YES she IS Froot loop looney toons)

    1. $250,000 over 10 years is $25,000 per year. She has 23 foster children. That boils down to a bit less than you or I might get in tax deduction for same number of kids. It is insignificant. Show me her grocery bill and I’ll show you how to spend $250,000 in 10 years without blinking.

    2. A morgue is a public entity, even if operated in agreement and on the premises of a private hospital. In all fairness, not funding a morgue with public money due to the private entity performing abortions is her expression of the desire to maintain public money out of the fight.

    3. Banned Aladdin? Crazy bitch.

    4. Voted against increased Pell and lower student loan rates. Honestly, it may well have been a budgetary call as lesser of many evils. I don’t know. Maybe it saved a few hundred million in Fed funds to public K-12. Maybe it kept us in JDAMs. Budget is so smoke and mirrors.

    5. Light Bulb Freedom of Choice. Guess what? Those CFL’s are chock fuck full of mercury, same as big fluorescents. They aren’t the best option.

    6. Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. She voted her supporters wishes. Kill your SUV.

    7. Global Warming. OK. I am actually on the fence here. I was solidly in the ‘oh crap: global warming” camp. Now, I see that the data used to generate the convincing exponential graphs of doom were seriously doctored and flawed. I see that the oceanic temperature data was manipulated. I see that the historic CO2 concentration in ice cores cycles periodically, and we are nearing a maximus. I don’t think CO2 is evil, actually, the plants should overgrow to dampen the increased production. That is the balance mechanism.

    8. 2010 Census. Retarded, because the government can get all the data they want on you for any reason without a warrant already, so just hand over the info already. Now, go get the USA PAtriot Act repealed.

    9. Cap and Trade is a deliberate manipulation of the Green scare to increase tax on the industrial base in the U.S. I wrote an article on this a while back. The way the system is structured, credits are traded on the market, but the supply is regulated and issued by a legislative body. That means the value of a trillion dollar market is subject to the whims of a few individuals. Second, it is a false economy. There is no product. There is no way to generate the commodity that is traded. This is the fiat currency of the cap and trade scam. It’s about money, and it will not do shit to promote new , less polluting technologies, because it will burden the resources of existing companies greatly.

    10. AmeriCorps. No clue. If I volunteer, it’s for a homeless shelter right where I live.

    11. I seriously believe she was fed bologna numbers, and failed to question them. Shame on her, and her staff.

    12. Obama-care and Dodd-Frank financial reform ARE far left from her point of view. Compared to what we have raping us today, that a whole new can of fuckery.

    13. Tax free zones: Marxist? only for a while. 12 years. Then taxes revert to normal. It’s a band-aid measure. It sort of works. They (and I ) are basing this on experience with Sim City 4.

    14. Social Security and Medicare. YES abolish them (Oh, but first, put in place a fully funded, structured replacement. It has to provide (at a minimum) equivocal care and benefits, at equal or lesser cost) (Good luck)

    15. Christian rap/metal music: She doesn’t really like this at all. The same idiot who gives her statistical data threw that one in there because he or she thought it would increase appeal to the not-yet-of-voting-age demographic? Who knows. She like Beiber. It was always Beiber.

    Also, This woman is nuts.

  • Sime


    “5. Light Bulb Freedom of Choice. Guess what? Those CFL’s are chock fuck full of mercury, same as big fluorescents. They aren’t the best option.”

    Er no they are not “Chock Full of mercury”.

    I rather suspect you have fallen foul of the us conservative media visa vie Murdoch and his empire of scum i.e. “spout total bollocks (lie) as we know it works”, there is mercury there in very small quantities and there are indeed better options e.g. the new LED’s however CFL’s are NOT “Chock full of mercury”.

    You put 100 times more mercury in your mouth when the doctor took your temperature as a kid.


    As for Bachmann sitting around campaigning against light bulbs because they have mercury in them is kind of hypocritical when the bill was sponsored by one Texas Republican Joe “I’m not a Doctor, but I am full of it” Barton… he who has denied there was any “medical negative” from mercury emitted from coal power plants?





    As for Bachmann, total loon, hell I have chickens out the back that are smarter, way more honest, and quite frankly far more useful in that they lay eggs.